The modern trope of self-work can be exhausting and demoralizing in its suggestion that you are an obligation, an object that can be perfected, or a problem to be fixed. Perhaps instead we move toward self-exploration, that encourages healing naturally through connection and creative experience. An orientation of internal (and then likely external) kindness,
rather than judgement and stress.
A scolded child shuts down, but a supported child
can learn new options.
A recent nuerophysiology study showed that when we are focused on achieving a goal it puts our system under some stress, which causes us have to less access to a resourced, creative state of mind. However, when we can embody or connect to a present moment intention, our nervous system responds positively. A goal suggests we aren't in the right place, where as an intention helps us feel how we are already connected to what we need.
In this place we invite our lives to unfold from a place of abundance and trust in place of deficit or shame and fear. In any moments we can find pause to rest into our breath, into our bodies we initiate this reorientation as we begin to operate from the belief that we deserve love and presence in just exactly the shape we take today. Each breath is an invitation to remember that we are supported in our existence--we matter, and if we were meant to be different in this here/now, we would be.